scared.afraid.terrified.yetexcited.

Ok, so I've done it yet again and this time at least it wasnt as long as the last time rite :p hehee.. anyways, i finished my 6 months practical at Hyatt last week on the 31st July and suprisingly, i didnt know that i was gonna be this depressed, sad, happy, anxious, scared, terrified and so many other feelings all at the same time man.. I mean its crazy how i feel.. ok let me summarised why im feeling all of this at one time after practical.. the first main one that i would feel would be:

SAD :( sad because i just finished working with the most awesomest people ever and what i felt on the last day of practical was crazy. It felt like i was doing everything for the last time which was true. I mean, I was photostating so many copies of memos for Housekeeping for the last time, editing the Communications Report for the last time, doing quotations, agreements and event orders for the last time, talking and having fun with my ex-colleagues for the last time, sneaking out for 4pm teabreaks with Anderson for the last time and i think you get the basic picture. Everything I did was for the last time during my time at Hyatt. It was even more sad because I was getting so used to the place and what I was doing that sometimes I forget that I dont get paid a dime but you know what??!! I wouldnt trade any of the experiences I had there for money. Because I've learnt so much and gained so many memories and friends to be the added bonus. And it was hard letting it all go all at once :(

HAPPY :) because I was now able to feel how was it like to deal with the real world. To find a real job and to see how hard it is to survive. But most of all to finally support myself and eventually my family as well. I dont know why, but most people might say I'm faking it or being a loser or whatever but one of the main reasons I cant wait to start working is because I cant wait to finally support my family and especially my dad. He's been working so hard this past few years and especially this year where we're struggling but that doesnt bother us at all. This I cant wait to do but it might take some time and Im willing to wait for that day and feel the "puas-ness" of it all. :)

SCARED :/ as i said just now. Im scared of finally having to face reality and also to face the real world. Fullstop.

ANXIOUS :] to find out what will happen with my future.

so what exactly do you call all this feeling bundled into one? -CRAZINESS-. Seriously, I've been going crazy during my one week or so at home and getting so restless. I have an ass of a driving instructor that takes ages to give me my freaking lessons and keeps on bullshitting to me about this and that. I dont care if you are busy on what day, I wanna know when you are NOT busy??

Another thing that has been pissing me off lately is the mentality of most people that I know of. Let us call this stupid group M. Well you see Ms usually gets all the credit even though they are usually fat, lazy and unproductive people. But you know what, no one really cares if they are fat, lazy and unproductive because they're M's. So that get everything they want with just a touch of a button or by just you know, asking! And what do people like us get??!! SHIT! You guys think that just because you are the majority means you can take over the world is it?!

If you guys think its so easy just to make it after just a short while and still in the learning process, i wanna see you do it?! PLEASE, PRETTYYY PLEASE! I'll give anything to see you guys do it instead. Give me an effing break! Everyone is human and we all make mistakes.